Okay sooooo, today was a day. Im going to start off saying that because it was. God is really hilarious. He love to play all day but I am thankful that He loves me enough to be merciful and understanding.
Studying the book of Job wasn’t something I thought I would be doing but his story did something to me. I only got to chapter 12 but while reading chapters 7-12 I was in tears. I had no idea I was feeling so heavy or just going through it low-key. Mainly because I really try to be positive and remind myself it could be worst. Everything Job was feeling I understood. I identified with him. Im going through this season of life where I literally HAVE to trust GOD. There is no other option. God is my only option. He is my EVERYTHING. He is the answer to every issue. I’m not going to lie it’s hard not because it’s hard to trust HIM. It’s hard because I don’t know what’s next. This is a day by day thing. I don’t know anything if im being honest, as far as my life goes. I sort of have a sense of the end but I don’t know how im going to get there and THAT is what makes it frustrating. I like to plan. I like to know what im doing and how. I like to have some type of structure. These days my structure is to take it to God and then move because I no longer want to just make decisions and take steps and it be wrong. Im so tired of getting things wrong because I made the decision based on someone else perspective or my own. So the only other way is to trust God and I want to ask questions, which I do sometimes but I also don’t want it to seem like im complaining or im ungrateful because im not. God has literally been supplying my every need but everything that I had as security blanket He told me to walk away from it. I don’t know, it’s an overwhelming thing. I guess that’s why as I was reading Job vent to his friends and then cry out to God, the tears started coming. I felt every word. I feel like im being punished. I feel like God has forgotten about me. I feel like im not doing the right thing. I feel like im walking on egg shells. In all the FEELINGS I know none of it is TRUTH and that’s what I had to remind myself. That’s kind of what Job friends was trying to tell him. From my understanding. Don’t quote me on that. Read it for yourself.
Side note;God told me to read and study the chapter of Job. isn’t that crazy? Its crazy because one, I didn’t know I was feeling like this inside BUT God knew and I believe He wanted me to bring those feelings to Him because I really wouldn’t say anything. Two, I feel like his story keeps coming up in my life and I was just compared to Him on my birthday. Anyways, Job had me down bad.
I still can’t believe I was crying like I had no sense. Im sitting there like girl what is wrong with you and then it hit me, girl you feel that way. Some parts I was like okay Job you doing a lot, it’s not that deep but then again maybe it is. Maybe ive been trying to drown how I really felt or cover up what I was feeling with positivity which is great but I need to start drowning myself in His word. In truth. In my head im like Job I feel you bruh, while still telling myself it’s a lie and Gods got me because He does. Period! Im so grateful for His peace, His joy, His love, His understanding, His mercy, and His grace.
Yea, so that was honestly just my day. Me thinking about how much I identify with Job and taking time to reflect. Other than that today was a good day I love when God reveals new things to me, especially things about myself. Good or bad.
I guess that’s all for now.
Today’s lesson is….
Take everything to God….
Im not alone….Gods got my back…Don’t give up…Endure…Push through and Greater is coming….
Trust Him..
Signing off this|Until tomorrow…
Stay ANCHORED IN HIS TRUTH
It hit me when Job said this…
https://www.bible.com/bible/1/JOB.7.KJV
Song on repeat in my head…https://youtu.be/0iYS5rALpvA?si=pei72fj3z7JYTC5z