Here I am again, taking another shot at this vulnerability thing. Taking another stab at journaling here online. It’s very much new to me as well as uncomfortable. It’s different than just sharing a poem or advice. I tend to be an open book type of girlie, most times, but to a selective bunch lol. Not being open for anyone and everyone to see and hear. But…. I’m also learning to trust the process and push past my feelings. To seek ye first the kingdom of God. Emotions and feelings are temporary and ever changing so why put trust in it. Why make decisions, decisions that can effect other including myself?
As time passed I realized this is what I’m supposed to be doing, which I knew. I just had my own idea of what that looked like. Writing. Sharing my testimonies, my thoughts, Gods word, and encouraging word but it’s difficult. To write you need to be still and as someone who tends to overthink being left with your thoughts is difficult. But….. God has been humbling me and making sure that I sit down and do exactly what He told me to do. Making sure that I have no excuse to get things done.
Let me catch you up since the last update post. If you didn’t know, I do hair. I own a beauty company and I make my own natural hair care products. So obviously I’m always, well most times doing hair, using my hands. Can you please tell me why I end up not being able to use my dominant hand. The Lord sat my behind all the way down. I’m currently not able to use my left hand and it’s frustrating. I’m learning new habits, new ways to do basic things for myself which makes me want to scream but I’m grateful that it’s not worst. When it first happened, I was praying and rebuking every manner of pain lol automatically blaming the enemy. When I sat in His presence and listened, I was told to be still. Trust Him and not to worry. So that is exactly what I am doing but those first two weeks when I was trying to ignore the pain and act as though it wasn’t there, I was slowly drifting into a place that would’ve led to depression, regret and doubt. Slowly self sabotaging and overthinking but not spending time feeding myself the word of God. No bueno, that was leaving to much space for the enemy to place his thoughts in my mind. God didn’t sit me down to spend my time watching Netflix and scrolling on social media. If I’m being honest I’m anxious about the next but I know the next can’t come unless I get over this, unless I allow Gid to prepare me. I took my time to just press pause, which I definitely feel that is necessary for me sometimes but I could’ve been more proactive in the things of God and things He told me to do. Instead I was doing what Amanda wanted to do which was to be distracted. If I would’ve stayed there, that road leads to non progress, doubt, fear and procrastination. I thank God for His grace.
Thank you Holy Spirit for keeping me and also making me self aware on how I was feeling and what was actually happening in my mind. I don’t know how I would’ve made it out the bed.
“Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands. Serve the LORD with gladness: Come before his presence with singing. Know ye that the LORD he is God: It is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; We are his people, and the sheep of his pasture. Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, And into his courts with praise: Be thankful unto him, and bless his name. For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; And his truth endureth to all generations.”
Psalm 100:1-5 KJV
My reminder. Give thanks no matter what, no matter how I feel. He dwell in our praise not in our sulking and depression.
“O my God, I cry in the daytime, but thou hearest not; And in the night season, and am not silent. But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.”
Psalm 22:2-3 KJV
Stay Anchored in His Truth